Why Guys Cheat - 3 Things Every Woman Should Know

Why Guys Cheat – 3 Things Every Woman Should Know

To give you an idea of the reasons behind why guys cheat, here are the most common reasons cited by cheating males in studies carried out on the subject:

1. Because The Opportunity’s There:

Why Guys Cheat

I once heard a psychologist colleague of mine referring to the scenario of cheating in a very understandable manner.

“Women,” he says, “tend to cheat for a number of carefully considered reasons. It’s rarely an impulse decision for them: the motivating factors are usually present for sometime, and they’ve spent time thinking about infidelity and the potential repercussions for themselves, their partner, and their relationship.

Men, on the other hand, react to an opportunity to cheat in much the same way that they’d react to a large chocolate cake sitting on the kitchen bench. They may not be hungry, but the cake looks good; it smells good; so they eat it anyway.”

In other words, a relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be on the rocks – or even significantly troubled – for the average male to cheat.

If a tempting opportunity presents itself, instinct may take over – an appetite of an entirely different kind.

2. Because They’re not Getting Enough Affection and Sex at Home:

Why Guys Cheat

This is a fact of life: if most men aren’t getting enough sex with their chosen partner, they’ll seek it elsewhere. It is another reason why guys cheat.

Obviously, this is another generalization – not all men will cheat on their girlfriend or wife simply because she’s temporarily indisposed – but in the case of a long-term sex drought, it’s true that the majority of men will eventually stop asking for it at home, and find it somewhere else.

Poll results point to the fact that it’s a mixed bag, so to speak: it’s not just the physical act of sex that men crave (although that’s certainly a large part of it); it’s also the affirmation of their masculinity and personal attractiveness that they need.

Most men will resent having to be “the one who initiates” as time goes on, whether the initiation results in sex or not; and if their requests are met more often than not with an adamant, “No, thank you”, it just adds insult to injury.

3. It’s Easier Than Trying to “Fix” Things:

If the relationship is in dire straits, many men prefer the quick fix of an affair, rather than a messy divorce proceeding, separation, or even the moral fortitude and energy required to acknowledge the fact that the relationship’s seen better days.

As Jeff, a friend of mine who admits to conducting several long-term affairs behind the back of his then-wife, phrases it: “Sometimes, the thought of divorce and the huge changes it would wreak in everyone’s lives was just too much to handle.

I didn’t want to be the one responsible for upsetting my children’s lives; and, even though I was no longer in love with my wife, I still loved her very much, and didn’t want to break her heart by admitting my infidelity.

“In hindsight, I don’t think I made the right choice by hiding the affairs from her, but at the time I thought it was the easiest way to keep myself from going insane in an unfulfilling marriage, while keeping the family and marriage intact.

✅ It’s never too late to rekindle the love in your marriage or relationship, which is why it’s imperative that you have the right tools and techniques. If you are serious about your wining back, your husband’s love there’s no better time than now!
>>> Click Here to learn “The Number #1 Secret to Making Him Love You…” and re-ignite the passion in your marriage right away, as 100’s of women have already done!

Non Gender-Specific Reasons for Cheating:

We’ve looked at reasons why guys cheat; now, let’s take a look at the most widespread, common reasons that either gender will cheat on the other.

1. The Role of Perfectionism In Cheating:

Why Guys Cheat

Being a perfectionist is a pretty difficult way to go through life.

Although, to the uninitiated, ‘perfectionism’ seems to convey a sense of super-efficiency, and to be a virtual guarantee of leading a high-quality life, the truth is that it’s just plain exhausting.

It’s demoralizing, too – that sense of always struggling to maintain standards, to just push for that little extra inch of success … it makes it hard to enjoy life.

In short, perfectionists are rarely happy. They strive for perfection with all their might, but somehow, that sense of satisfaction and contentment continues to elude them. They’re always thinking of the next challenge, the next obstacle, of what might happen tomorrow.

When this is applied to relationships, it’s a recipe for disaster. Perfectionism is one of the top reasons that relationships either fail outright, or experience infidelity (on one or both sides) – simply because one or both people in that relationship are seeking a level of fulfillment and perfection in their partner which simply cannot exist.

It’s a major contributor to our current epidemic of infidelity. Perfectionism drives people to seek perfection – and intimacy, true intimacy, is one of the most effective eroders of the myth of ‘perfection’ that I know of!

When you’re truly intimate with someone – intimate in the way that long-term, loving relationships are – all the boundaries come down. You share your flaws and inadequacies with the other person.

To a perfectionist, this is nightmarish – they need the perfect relationship, not one riddled with blemishes and imperfections.

So (in a sad and somewhat predictable move) they seek perfection in the unfamiliar. Perhaps that handsome Italian waiter with the flawless smile would be a better lover/husband/boyfriend? Perhaps that beautiful librarian would never cut her toenails in front of you, leave her dirty laundry on the bedroom floor, or drunkenly embarrass you at the office Christmas party?

It’s an understandable mistake to make – at least, in theory. But at the same time, subjecting your relationship and partner to unrealistic expectations is strongly reminiscent of the ostrich: you’re burying your head in the sand.

Deep down, we’re all human. It doesn’t matter how flawless someone’s gleaming facade of social sublimity is – getting to know a person is all about taking the good with the bad, and balancing it out.

Perfectionists have a difficult time with this, and so they seek to quench their thirst for faultlessness in the novel and the unexplored – in the arms of strangers, in other words, whose charm diminishes in direct proportion to how well the cheater comes to recognize and acknowledge their essentially flawed, human nature.

2. The Role of Baseless Jealousy in Creating Affairs:

The Role of Baseless Jealousy in Creating Affairs

Ever heard the term, “self-fulfilling prophecy”? In case you don’t know what it is, a self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that causes itself to come true by the simple act of its own existence.
An example of a self-fulfilling prophecy: try saying, “I’m tired” – you’ll be yawning inside of 30 seconds.

Jealousy is the ultimate example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Have you ever had a jealous partner? There’s nothing quite like it in terms of the stress and unhappiness that it causes.

You get accused of all sorts of things – from attracting too much attention (whether you meant to do it or not), to inviting flirtations, to initiating flirtations, to actually having an affair.

A common maneuver from a jealous person is to forbid their partner from having friends of the opposite sex: “I trust you, darling, I just don’t trust them. I’m a man/woman, after all, and I know what goes on in the heads of other men/women.”

It’s a pretty horrible experience to have to go through. Having to contest, on an ongoing basis, against baseless accusations – accusations that you know stem from nothing more than your partner’s own insecurities – does nothing but erode your affection for that person.

A jealous partner attempts to control and restrict the movements, both social and emotional, of their partner. By doing so, they seek to maintain control over that person’s love for them, and to make sure that they themselves will never cease from being the focal point of their partner’s life.

The truth of the matter is that you can’t make anyone feel anything for you. No matter what strategies and mechanisms you use, it’s impossible to make anyone feel more of a commitment to you than they already do naturally.

In fact, those strategies normally end up driving people to do the very thing their partner was so afraid of – frustrated at the manipulation, irritated at the number of times they’ve had to defend their honor and fidelity, sick and tired of the fact that their word seems to mean nothing to their partner, they get fed up and seek comfort from somebody else.

A jealous person is someone who’s very hard to live with. Jealousy, in and of itself, is often enough to create an affair all by itself, where otherwise one would never have eventuated.

✅ It’s never too late to rekindle the love in your marriage or relationship, which is why it’s imperative that you have the right tools and techniques. If you are serious about your wining back, your husband’s love there’s no better time than now!
>>> Click Here to learn “The Number #1 Secret to Making Him Love You…” and re-ignite the passion in your marriage right away, as 100’s of women have already done!

If you enjoyed this article...
Don't give up on your marriage "until you've tried this book" Sign up below with your valid email to download free.



Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.