In this article, we’re going to be looking at the 3 top reasons why girls cheat on there partner. Before we start, I’d like to make it clear that I believe that generalization isn’t always the healthiest or most productive way to deal with problems of such an intensely personal and variable nature.
Generalizing by gender is normally a particularly bad idea, since there’s definitely no “hard and fast rule” to dictate the reasons as to why each sex cheats on the other.
However, years of research into this subject (questionnaires, polls, extended studies featuring thousands of men and women alike) have yielded the fact that each gender tends to have its own core reasons for cheating – and that these reasons are utterly distinct to each sex.
This isn’t to say that there isn’t a certain amount of overlap – each person has their own individualized reasons for cheating, and of course we’re all individuals when you get right down to the nitty gritty, aren’t we!
Still, though: the facts are there. There are certain defined – albeit basic – reasons as to why girls cheat; and these are quite different from the reasons that men tend to cheat.
Please note my careful use of the word “tend to”, and be aware that these are not definitive explanations: take away the causes of cheating for either gender, and that woman or man may still cheat. Unfortunately, it’s not quite as simple as “treat the symptoms and cure the disease”.
But it’s pretty interesting to take a look at the typical reasons for each gender’s infidelities. It can even yield some insight into the manner in which each gender tends to view relationships, and what sort of problems each gender tends to deal with repeatedly.
So: without further ado, let’s take a look at the typical reasons that each gender might cheat on a spouse or partner.
3 Top Reasons Why Girls Cheat?
Here’s a list of some of the most common reasons why girls cheat on their partners. From these reasons, it’s easy to see the emotional and psychological component of cheating and infidelity as far as the female sex is concerned: for most women, infidelity is a preconceived, preplanned notion.
Perhaps not with a particular person; but, by and large, the vast majority of girls who cheat have been thinking about it and considering the benefits to themselves versus the detriments to their relationship for some time.
This is in direct contrast to most men – but, I digress. We’ll talk about common male reasons for cheating shortly. For now, let’s take a look at girls.
1: Women are hardwired for the Ideal Man
Girls are prepped by their instincts, their parents, and the society they live in to find the best possible man that they possibly, possibly can (hint: think “dreamboat”).
If you doubt my word, think about the culture that we live in! Fairytales: the bread and butter of a little girl’s imagination. The highlight of the plotline is, more often than not, the princess/poverty-stricken beauty’s eventual romantic blossoming with the prince/handsome stranger/rescuer on the big white horse.
Look at the movies that we watch: young girls are brought up on a diet of sitcoms (featuring witty wordplay and shallow disagreements which almost invariably end up in a happy reunion), rom-coms (featuring much the same stuff, except with more glamorous characters and more attention paid to the emotive rollercoaster of the romantic high-low-superhigh which makes up
the backbone of most romantic comedies) and literature that’s aimed at the female market.
Look at the books that young girls and women read: adventure/romance/ female fiction stories.
Consider Diana Gabaldon, author of the incredibly popular bodice-ripping Adventure Romance series “Cross-stitch”.
Consider Helen Fielding, author of Bridget Jones’ Diary, the diary-cumromantic-commentary of a typical English lass – obsessed, typically, with romance, her weight, and sex. Or – last but certainly not least, in terms or popularity or prolificity – Marian Keyes, alleged inventor (or should that be perpetrator?) of the renowned “chick lit” genre, who manages to convey the concept of the Realistic Yet Happy Romantic Ending in almost every book.
If you still doubt my word, look at Barbie and Ken, for Chrissake.
I know it’s a cliché, but what little girl doesn’t feel that strangely satisfying pang beneath her breastbone when the happy plasticated couple have journeyed off in their pink Mattel-mobile to another blissful wedding night (unconsummated, of course – partially thanks to the primarily unsexual imagination of the average little girl, and partially thanks to Ken’s permanent Tighty-Whities outfit beneath his manly slacks and shorts).
So when these little girls grow up enough to embark on their own romantic adventures, all too often, reality sets in with a sharp jolt.
It’s unpleasant. Nothing is as they thought it would be. The world does not pivot on an axis of long blonde hair, men whose full-yet-masculine lips overflow with compliments day and night, or the type of bodice-ripping sex where your first time with someone still guarantees an orgasm (or three).
And so – depressed by their own partner and taught by nature, nurture, and culture to expect nothing less than a fight-free, rock-solid relationship – these women seek elusive Perfection in the arms of a stranger.
Of course, the truth is hard to avoid: these women usually discover inside of a few weeks that, in fact, the feet of their illicit lover smell just as bad as their boyfriends’ do; that the thrill of novelty and the satisfaction of a longterm relationship are, in fact, mutually exclusive; and that, unfortunately, all the songs about how “Nobody’s Perfect” are true.
They’ve failed to realize that the only way to grow closer to someone is to adapt to their bad points, as well as enjoy their good points.
2: The Line Between Friendship and Romance Becomes Blurred
After a fair amount of research into the fascinating subject of platonic intergender friendships, my male friends remain vociferously adamant on one thing: that there is no such thing.
According to these men, at some point in any relationship that purports to be platonic, one of the two “friends” is attempting to conceal a sexual attraction to the other person.
Usually, that person is the male of the friendship.
And it’s easy to let those boundaries blur: most women don’t realize that the concept of “platonic” is one that exists solely in their own head.
A great deal of the problems in this scenario stems from the flirt-level (usually initiated by the female) in the so-called friendship. They feel safe in their friendship: safe enough to flirt a little, maybe.
“Oh,” they think, “we’re just friends. He knows I don’t mean anything by it. After all, I have a boyfriend.”
But then they push the limits by acting in a way that’s confusing to the poor guy. They tell that male friend about all the fights they have with their boyfriend; they bitch to him about what a loser the boyfriend is, when they’re feeling petty or dissatisfied; they engage in graphic conversations about the type, frequency, and duration of the sex that the couple has.
And then the night comes when the female of the friendship requires consolation because she’s had a fight with her boyfriend/husband/partner. Perhaps alcohol has been consumed on both sides.
You can imagine what usually happens next.
3: They Feel Devalued By Their Partners:
After the original euphoria of early love wears off, many women complain that their partners “take them for granted”, and that they feel sexless and starved for affection.
They want their partners to romance them; but instead, they feel neglected and undervalued.
An easy way to boost the ego is to seek out random flattery or attention from a stranger.
Studies have shown that compliments from a stranger are generally felt to be more “meaningful” than compliments from somebody that we know.
This may be part of the reason why anonymous flirtations and hook-ups with unknown men are so satisfying for so many women – it’s an effective way of bolstering their femininity, charm, and ego all at once.