Why do men cheat? Whether married or unmarried, young or old, both men and women engage in infidelity. However, it is extremely common amongst men.
Why? Most men cheat because they feel that it is the logical solution to their relationship issues and other life problems and at the end of the day, they blame everyone else and everything else but themselves.
They justify their acts by saying things like, “a man is biologically wired to have sex with as many women as he can” or if they got better sex at home, they won’t have to go out in search of one.
According to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, the author of “The Broken American Male: And How to Fix Him,”
Boteach believes, “It’s not for sex; it’s for affirmation. As a matter of fact, men cheat, by and large, because they feel like failures. They stray because they seek an outside arbiter and need someone, not their wife or partner to proclaim them worthy.” Boteach says that “
A man cheats for the ego boost and for affirmation. Women almost always cheat out of neglect. You know, the studies really show that wives whose sexual, emotional and romantic needs are addressed in marriage don’t really cheat.” Anyway, in this article, we’ll be sharing with you some of the reasons why men cheat.
1. Insecurity and Ego:
Some men suffer insecurity, feeling too young or too old, not handsome, smart or even rich enough. As a result, they seek validation from women who are not their partners to boost their egos in order to feel wanted and worthy.
Some other men love the excitement that comes with chasing a woman. It’s like a new challenge, where they have to win the woman because it makes them feel powerful and attractive.
This is even worse when a man feels rejected or neglected by his wife, his ego is bruised and he feels the need to fix it by attracting some other woman.
2. Unrealistic Expectations:
Some men have expectations that supersede what their partners can give. Instead of working it out with their spouse, stating what they want and coming to some sort of agreement as regards what each party is willing to offer, in order to make the relationship or marriage work, they decide to explore and take a walk to other women’s camp to find fulfillment.
For instance, some men expect their women to be available to fulfill their desires, sexual and otherwise every single time they need them. Whether she feels like it or not, forgetting that she has a life of her own and has some needs that she desperately seeks solutions to.
Now, this expectation is unrealistic and no woman can fulfill such. The wise thing to do in a situation like this will be to evaluate what they are asking for, talk with their spouse and see what they can settle for.
3. Sexual Addiction:
Sexual addiction is a condition in which an individual cannot manage their sexual behavior. This condition is common amongst men than it is amongst women.
The exact cause of sexual addiction is still unknown, but it can be linked to both a chemical and/or psychological reason. Sexual addiction cause men with this condition to continually engage in sexual behaviors including watching porn and participating in other similar acts.
Some men are just selfish and all they think about is themselves and their desires. So, even when they are caught in the act, they show no sign of remorse neither do they feel apologetic about it. As a matter of fact, it’s possible such men never intended to be involved in a monogamous relationship.
They were either raised with the mentality of polygamous home/marriages or they just do not care how their partner feels, for selfish reasons of course.
If you want to ensure your man’s stops cheating, then watch this video to see how to keep a man faithful . . . (From a woman perspective)
In the society we live in, almost everyone face pressure at work, home, school and the likes. For some men who are married, this pressure may be as a result of becoming a husband and a father, while some others feel pressurized just learning to stay committed to their relationship.
As a result, they try to seek distraction from the pressure that comes with responsibilities. They want to have a taste of their carefree single days without losing their marriage or relationship.
6. Unmet Emotional Needs:
We all feel the need for some sort of emotional connection with our spouse. For men, physical affection and sex is a good way to feel connected with their partners.
However, when they do not feel this connection, they tend to withdraw from their wives/partners, drifting away gradually till they start sparking a connection with some other woman out there.
7. Unresolved Childhood Trauma/Abuse:
In some case of cheating men, unresolved childhood trauma such as neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse may be responsible.
As a result, they are re-enacting these childhood traumas. They use it as a way to control or master the issues they couldn’t as children, to heal the wounds they had while growing up.
Men or women, young or old, it’s important to know that one of the biggest enemies of a healthy relationship or marriage is cheating.
Recognize possible temptations and pitfalls that can affect your relationship and stay away from it. Also, if you feel a disconnect between you and your partner, be sure to talk to your partner about it so that you both can resolve it without in order to avoid drifting apart.
The key to building and maintaining healthy marriages is not to focus on love and do not downplay each other’s sexual desire. Most importantly, the role of effective communication in any relationship cannot be overemphasized.
Maybe you already know he had an affair or maybe you suspect he cheated.
Regardless, you want to still attempt to salvage the marriage… but are afraid he might cheat again.