Do you find yourself worrying about divorce in your marriage?
Are you concerned about all of the couples around you that you see ending up divorced?
Do you ever look at your spouse or your marriage and worry that you are heading down the same terrible path?
Divorce is a terrible thing and though it has become so prevalent, it doesn’t always have to be that way. If you find yourself worrying about your marriage heading down this path, there are some things to be aware of.
Many experts will tell you that there are four main predictors that indicate if divorce is in the foreseeable future. In many instances you can reverse the behavior and path with a bit of attention and compassion.
So if you find that your marriage or feelings for your spouse fall into one of these areas below, it’s time to pay attention and do what you can to reverse it once and for all.
Top 4 Causes For Divorce:
1. Being Overly Critical with Each Other:
When people start getting too comfortable and criticizing rather than
talking, things take a wrong turn.
Being supportive is great and offering advice is one thing, but that can quickly evolve into criticism. You may not even realize that you are doing it with each other, but well meaning advice can evolve into nagging or even
Try to take a step back and recognize if you are critical with your spouse and then work to correct it.
When you feel comfortable with each other, it’s easy enough to point out each other’s problem areas or try to push them to be better.
If it seems that the criticism is overly negative, unwarranted, or not taken well, then it’s time to put a stop to this behavior. Replace with some positivity and focus instead on what you appreciate about each other for
a wonderful twist that can help save your marriage!
2. Being Defensive Instead of Working As A Team:
Every couple fights but some couples go after each other with vigor.
Being on the defensive or even worse the offensive is good for a game, but not for a marriage. You may not think that you set out to hurt each other but it quickly manifests into that.
You bring past mistakes or fights into current discussions and the arguments transform into something awful from there.
A couple that is successfully married for the long haul has a mutual respect for each other and the point of view that the other person holds.
Though you may not always agree with each other, when you are defensive, testy, or hurtful with each other is when bad things happen.
Try not to introduce this mindset or way of living into the marriage-and if it’s already there then work to replace it with respect, compromise, and some sort of support or understanding.
Work together or you work against each other!
3. Using The Silent Treatment Improperly:
Different fighting styles can wreak havoc on the best of marriages.
If one of you needs time to cool down in a fight and the other doesn’t this can be perceived as the silent treatment and it simply doesn’t work.
Not only that but using silence to avoid confrontation rather than address issues in a healthy and well intentioned manner can deteriorate the best marriage. You need to be careful about silence as it can act as a weapon, whether you mean for it to or not.
If you have issues to discuss then do so in a healthy and calm manner. If you need a moment to calm down, then verbalize that the right way. When silence replaces conversation then the marriage is heading in a downward
spiral and it’s time to stop it!
4. Feeling Contempt Towards One Another Rather Than Respect:
When you think of what contempt is at the core it’s a true combination of disgust and anger.
That is surely never going to be a good foundation for a marriage to work off of. You have more than likely made mistakes in the past that you wish you could have taken back.
You both likely harbor ill feelings about past issues in your marriage or even previous relationships. When you show contempt towards each other, nothing positive will come out of it.
You must find a way to respect each other, even if you don’t always respect each other’s choices. So though you may have a hard time getting over something in the past or take issue with your spouse in some way, you must find a way to get through it.
If you don’t and you continue to show contempt towards each other, then you can practically assure that your marriage won’t work.
Marriage is not always easy and takes two people to make it successful.
If you can overcome these most common causes for divorce, then you can be one of the great success stories that people look to in a positive light!
All the best and good luck !