Why do men cheat? Why did he do it? In this article, I’m going to explain the exact factors that are involved when a man cheats and how you can prevent it from happening to you in the future.
A question that women ask me constantly is, why did it happen? Why did he go off and do something stupid? Why did he go off to this other girl? What caused him to cheat? Well, what I want to do today is explain the factors behind cheating.
And the reality with cheating is there’s no one single factor that leads to it. It’s a combination of five different factors that can all contribute in their own ways to a man cheating or staying loyal.
I want to explain these factors and give you a real overview as to how those factors come together to lead to a man, either cheating or staying loyal.
You can’t control all of them, but there are some ways you can play a part to minimize the chance and make it virtually zero once you understand the factors. The first factor that’s involved in a man cheating is the most important one and it’s
1. Unmet Needs:
Now, cheating never happens when someone is getting all their needs in every area, some of those needs may be subconscious. This could be someone who thinks they’re getting all their needs and then still finds themselves cheating. What would be an example of an unmet need?
Well, if a man feels emasculated, that could be an example of an unmet need. When a man isn’t feeling the excitement or passion that he wants, that could be an example of an unmet need.
He might not have the self esteem that’s an example of an unmet need that you can’t control. He might be feeling unloved or appreciated. There’s lots of reasons that men will cheat due to an unmet need in a relationship, and some of these you can control, and some you can’t.
Now I want you to remember here as well. This is never an excuse for cheating. I’m not excusing cheating one little bit, but they are reasons. The better you can understand these reasons, the more you’ll be able to prevent it in your relationships. There’s always some sort of unmet need on a conscious or subconscious level.
2. Fear of loss.
His fear of being single is what it essentially drives him to cheat. You see, when a man has an unmet need, he always has the option to leave the relationship or communicate about it.
And if communication fails, he always has the option to leave the relationship. But fear affects men a lot more than what most women think it does. A lot of men have a real fear of being alone. I’ve had guys who were cheating on their girlfriends, I’ve had them tell me I’m not going to leave my girlfriend because I’m scared to be alone.
It sucks, right? It’s pathetic behavior, but it’s better to be aware of it and know that it happens. How scared he is of being single will contribute to the chance that he will cheat, because if he has a big unmet need, but he’s not afraid to be single, the guy’s going to talk about it and then walk away from a relationship before he cheats.
3. Genetics and His Upbringing:
The third factor that’s involved is probably going to surprise you. It’s his genetics and his upbringing. There is a massive genetic component to monogamy. People always ask me, “Ralph, do you think humans are naturally monogamous?” There’s no answer to that.
There’s no, yes, there’s no, no, there’s no, men aren’t monogamous, but women are. It’s a fluid concept. The fact is some people are more monogamous, some people are less, and they is a big genetic component to monogamy.
But essentially some people are genetically more monogamous than others and their upbringing affects it too. Epigenetics is a concept where your genes will change based on your upbringing and certain genes get turned on and off.
The way they were brought up, risk factors like substance abuse in the house, risk factors like single parenthood or double parenthood, all these things will change epigenetics. And on an aggregate level, on a generalized level will affect a man’s risk of cheating.
So women who do this never get cheated on! Watch this video to learn the secret to make a man monogamous for life.
Some men have a really high value for monogamy. They believe in it. Perhaps they were, had a church style upbringing and they really, really value that highly. Other men don’t believe in monogamy at all.
It’s just not their thing. This is different to their genetics and their upbringing. This is their conscious values and what they really hold important.
For example, let’s say that a man has a huge value for monogamy and hugely is genetically monogamous. Well, if that guy has an unmet need, he’s probably not going to cheat compared to the player who doesn’t value those things as much.
And the final factor involved is the impulsiveness of his character. Very few people who set out to cheat, plan to cheat that day.
There’s some who do by all means, but most do it on an impulse and they will be the first ones to admit that, it was freaking stupid after they’ve done it.
Cheating often comes from impulsive personalities and impulsive characters, so the more impulsive a man is, the higher risk factor in that way. With that being said, I’ve tended to be with impulsive people.
I know lots of women who are with impulsive men who have never cheated. The unmet needs aren’t there, maybe they don’t mind leaving, or maybe they just have a really high value on monogamy. Impulsiveness alone does not mean a man will cheat, but it is a risk factor involved and an important one.
So those are the five factors and the different way these add up together is going to affect a man’s chance of cheating. For example, let’s say that a guy has a somewhat high unmet need, but a very high fear of loss. He mostly values monogamy and he, he mostly has the genetics towards monogamy and he’s a middling, impulsive character.
Well, he’s fear of loss is high, so he’s not going to leave the relationship. He might communicate about it, but let’s say that that doesn’t come through for him and that he’s not getting that need met.
He’s still going to be too scared to leave, even though he has a mid range value from monogamy. That unmet needs can increase and increase and eventually he gets himself into an impulsive situation.
Or he values monogamy too much and he’s not afraid to leave the relationship if it comes to it. That guy’s at a low risk of cheating. Take the player. The player may not have a big unmet need at all.
By the way, if you want to know if a man values monogamy, ask him if he’s ever cheated in his relationships.
That can be a clue. Ask him if he believes humans are naturally monogamous. That’s a big clue, and ask him if he believes loyal marriages and relationships exist.
Do you know women who do this never get cheated on! Watch this video to learn the secret to make a man monogamous for life.